Oh ya and did i mention, just be yourself.? Trust me, you have must better moral values and moral systems compared to them so please, do yourself a favor a disasociate yourself from them. Dont comprimise anymore.

To think they can actually do something so despicable and yet get a laugh out of it. Utter childishness. And the poor boy, for the sake of being accepted into their social stratum compromises on his own dignity by playing stupid games. In a frightful memory of the past, it comes back to haunt. Why should he stoup himself to their pathetic, low-life games. It certainly amazes me how they have the abject ability to find pleasure in such grotesque activities. His decency, lost. Dignity, lost. Pride, Trampled upon. It would serve to leave a deep scar upon his soul. Why in the first place stoup down to their level. Accept Christ la. Then, never again would you have to stoup down in desperation for their acceptance. You have already been accepted, you’re in god's class. Why even bother. Don't stoup to their perverted worldly activities, they find pleasure in sin, pleasure in perversion. Look ahead to the future. If you want to soar like an eagle, don't hang around with turkeys. If they have no goal, aim and vision for their lives, they would only corrupt your good seed. It’s definitely not worth the temporal company of theirs. Don't let compliance destroy you.

It's a prelim countdown, rush, rush rush, study study study.

Oh and did i mention..55 days to prelims...Yes...start panicking and mugging. Let the studying begin.!

Back to school. Today, few abrupt changes were made, firstly to seating positions as we welcome hannan and lea yee into our group and mourn the loss of doreen and zhong bao... of course myself and irenuaus are going to kick up a big fuss and demand an explanation. [thank you..thank you very much] it's now time, to start working hard, start working toward my future and for it. No more wasting time. Jesus, please see me through this kiex.? I suddenly have this sudden urge to go get braces, strange nostalgic feeling like 4 years ago when I first tried out for braces, discovered the whole in-grown tooth story and that’s why could not make them. But my teeth now are utterly ugly lo...guess I just have to live with them for the rest of my life, I tired using the ' It's for your future grandchildren ' theory to try to convince my mum but she's not convinced so, maybe I should just secretly go try again. Anyways, there is a dentist in my school, so I can go see her. Hopefully she's still there. Was thinking on my way home from church on Sunday ( yes, I was alone Annabel) and I was thinking about the upcoming building fund, I really want to give my best to build god a great house, I want to invest the little that I have into god's house and build an amazing gate of heaven. So that when others see, they would know that indeed my god is real and alive! So, if sacrificing for the building fund means no Bangkok shopping trip for me, god I'm willing. If it means working instead even if it’s at Mac, god, I’m willing. Even if it means sacrificing prom, god, I’m willing. Cause its your purpose and will above mine and I’m sure that you have greater things in store for my life. God, I out my life on the alter, use me as a living sacrifice, I live for you and I fight the fight of faith.
Back to mugging for chinese orals

Poo la! I realised have not done any shopping lo..I dont want to miss out on the great Singapore Sale..Anyone on for shopping after school with me.? Or maybe on sat.? Anyone.?

Went out just now to cut hair, noticed glum looks on many passer-bys, probably was because of the fact that school is going to reopen in a matter of days. Proudly however, I daresay I am not glum! Going back to school in fact would not be a depressing reality for me. The very thought of not doing well in the O's scares the crap out of me. Thus, I have decided to go on my hardworking streak. Jesus please help me get through this.

#YaWnZ#...why like that..? Again have that feel tired but don't want to sleep feeling again.

Stick-thin bodies spewed on the ground, in an entangled mesh of death and corpses. Grotesque would not even be suited to describe it. There they lie. Victims of man's insanity. Testaments of an era passed. An era to come.? Now watching scenes of people limping/crawling or whatever method of movement their way out of hilter's concentration camps ( of which daryl thinks is cool! saddistic!)...it's utterly heart-wretching. War is horrible man. Terrible. It kinda just makes you feel small. Jesus...why must there be war.??? Why do these men allow their fallen nature and thoughts and uncontrolled yearnings for dominance over their fellow man overrun them and turn them into crazy beasts.?

Stick-thin bodies spewed on the ground, in an entangled mesh of death and corpses. Grotesque would not even be suited to describe it. There they lie. Victims of man's insanity. Testaments of an era passed. An era to come.?

Now watching scenes of people limping/crawling or whatever method of movement their way out of hitlter's concentration camps ( of which daryl thinks is cool! Sadistic!)...It's utterly heart-wrenching. War is horrible man. Terrible. It kind just makes you feel small. Jesus...Why must there be war.??? Why do these men allow their fallen nature and thoughts and uncontrolled yearnings for dominance over their fellow man overrun them and turn them into crazy beasts.?

It's quite surprising really, the sullen look that the American soldiers give when fighting a war. What's more surprising is the euphoric shouts and screams of the middle-eastern (or wherever the fight) fighter who fights (or maybe he thinks he's fighting) for liberation and his freedom. Wonder why there is such great disparity between these two men both taking up their arms. Maybe one thinks that he fights for his future, his motivation being getting a better life, a greener pasture. The other? Endless bloodshed by simply for the propaganda of his government. Both regarded as heroes in their own home. One regarded as a liberator at home but as a rogue in the field. The other regarded as a freedom fighter in his own home and a terrorist by the supposedly upright and impartial ( yea right) international community. Ironic eh? Why is the world like that.? Well, one things for sure, things would only get worse, till the second coming of course. How much for blood will be shed. (Yes, I'm watching band of brothers and thus I'm suddenly military minded/ miss universe contestant sounding.)

Am I allowed to simply refuse.? Please.?

Pissed man! My darling leather bag from thailand which i bought 2 yrs ago has been copyrighted in Singapore lo.! Pui La..now so many ppl are prancing around with my bag..diao..Never mind, nows the time for shopping...SALE!..I'm excited for zone meeting on thurs wee..only that on friday there's another chem test..

I think some imbecile hacked into my msn account lo, why ah.! I changed my password, still got this irritating fellow keeps hacking in, I wonder who's the sicko lo, nothing's out of plac though, I wonder what he wants.

Don't know why, i'm suddenly sick, suddenly sniffing like crazy and feeling giddy, maybe a heavy heart really does affect one's health. Jesus Please help.

LOVE SONG FOR A SAVIOUR ( EDITED)
In open fields of wild flowers, she breathes the air and flies away.She thanks her Jesus for the daises and the rosesin no simple language.Someday she'll understand the meaning of it all.He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens.As close a heartbeat or a song on her lips. Someday He'll call her and she will come runningand fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and she'll pray,"I want to fall in love with You".Sitting silent wearing Sunday best.The sermon echoes through the walls.A great salvation through it calls to the people who stare into nowhere, and can't feel the chains on their souls.He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens.As close a heartbeat or a song on our lips.Someday we'll trust Him and learn how to see Him.Someday He'll call us and we will come running and fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and we'll pray,"I want to fall in love with You".It seems too easy to call you "Saviour", close enough to call you "God".So as I sit and think of words I can mentionto show my devotion. Simply,I want to fall in love with You"

According to lime mag, there are several kinds of guys..wonder which i am...we are allowed to mix and match..

Maybe i should stop having a pity party and just thank god for making me look this way..? Ugly as i may be...I'm still god's creation and pleasing in his eyes..Thank you jesus for your word.

Have I been neglecting people..? I seriously am begininng to wonder...How can i help her..? Jesus please tell me and give me ways how to help her..? Don't want the same cycle to keep repeating...I would rather tell her straight to her face now and have her hate me for telling her...rather than she experience all that pain..and then hate me later for not telling her...hmm...

That guy is freaky..! Now i realise people really cant be judged by their appearances, i thought that i could flow with him..but i could not be more wrong...he's seriously freaky...please beware kiex..dont let him sweet talk you into anything...
I also realised that I'm not the avg guy... Let me describe the avg guy's lifestyle excluding religion...: Plays computer games/Playstation2/ Xbox...watches/reads japanese comics or animae...loves basketball/Soccer/some form of sports and plays it at least once a week...has a steady girlfriend to whom he msges sweet nothings to her every night and tries to go out with her pnce every week...Devoid of close relationships with any other females except probably his girlfriend and one other girl...Has been clubbing...Loves hanging out and wasting their lives at malls...Hates shopping...Loves horror flicks/ action pictures....Is insensitive/a jerk/ flirt/ playboy/nerd/ popular kid/ weirdo/ Casanova/ sweet talker. Did i mention? Loves fast sports cars/bikes and knows hows a ton about it....Thinks that crying is a form of weakness and refuses to cry under any circumstances...Fantasies about having sex...Is adamant in having a girlfriend hoping from one broken relationship to another and think that it is definitely 'IN' to be in a relationship...Wondering what is his reason for existing and what purpose/function he is meant to serve here on planet earth...I wonder....I dont think i can relate...Or am i just sterotying guys..? Is it just me...? Or is this world seriously superficial..? Yes...I'm quite disgusted with that particular guy..

Got new specs..! Excited to collect them..hahax...they are either ash grey or brown..cant rememba...opps...

Just got back from a great time of fellowship and dinner with the old peeps...abit diaox cause actually supposed to treat sue to dinner..but ended up the other way round...so quite diaox..but we had a great time talking and stuff...hmm...and after that the starbucks fellowship was great too...really had a fun time..we should do it some time again...
I was quite convicted by what wayne said...I feel that i really have just been taking the blows of PO...but never really fought back hard...thus..I've decided to dealt blows to the devil though god...I intend to fast for the next two wks everyday and day..till there's a breakthough...wow...excited man..i know that my spiritual life would grow alot too..and also would pray for my family...Anyone care to stand in prayer with me..? hahax..For the people reading this..please msg me when you are free to remind me kiex thnkx...I tend to be extremely forgetful hahax..and i dont want to forget hahax..
Jesus...can i experience your presence everyday during quiet time..? Please come..you are so welcome...

An Indonesian Love Song to Jesus...the one we sang during emerge...

Bila Kubuka Mataku
Kulihat wajah mu, Ku terkagum

Bila kulihat kidupku
Dan Kanga tangan Mu, Ku lensanjung

Kar'na, semua yang baik dalam hidupku
Itulah Karya Mu

Kau b'ri kesempatan yang baru

Chorus: Dan kuingin mengenal Mu tuhan
Lebih dalam dari s'mua yang ku kenal

Tiada kasih yany melebihiMu
Ku ada unluk menjadi penyembahMu...

It's such an annointed song..! Can feel the presence of god even now..! Wow..

Hahax...i like dis pic...nice ritex..thanks wen..!

I just saw the advert for bubble boy...I wonder how it would be like to live in a bubble...Jia Wen said that i should have more confidence in myself when i told her that i could never be compared for amtch up to either of the two brothers as i'm hideous...I seriously think I am...Hideous.

Is this nice..? Do I look nice.? I wonder..

I'm super tired...suffering from fatigue perhaps...I just have no idea why I'm not sleeping or doing sumthing meaningful..i Suddenly feel that I'm just wasting abit of my time....Yawnz...I'm going to type the Indonesian song out..thanks Louise for the lyrics of such an annointed song filled with the presence of god.!

Wah..! Emerge day 2..! Tired but super charged! Emerge rox man! Haiz tommorrow...Really dont feel like ushering lo...I wanna celebrate and be RaRa with my cell group members lo..but if usher then wont be with them then i would be alone..But i guess this is what is called commitment over convenience...If i dont serve...who will.?

I have no pok pok idea how to plan for tommorrow lo...God..Help me!!!!!!!!

If anyone ever told you that life is easy, or that it is going to be a bed of roses, they lied....
Life sure is hard...especially when you try to please everyone...so I think...why bother..? You would never be able to please them...Simple...Live by what's right.

I don't understand...In the past I refused to believe every criticism they made, in fact I defended you...But are you trying to prove to me that what they are saying is indeed true..? That you are extremely temperamental and have unreasonable expectations of people and that you are in fact a spoilt brat..? I hope not..But that is kind of the impression that I am beginning to get... I wonder if this is in fact the truth....You know who you are..I don't have to mention names...Neither do I want to believe that what they say about you is true...Please don't make be believe that it indeed is..
Please...Let me continue to defend you agaisnt what they say...don't let me believe them.

Thank god my com is fixed...I really missed it even thoguh is was only two days..and all my info is gone..! Mummy..! hahax..anyways...emerge is tommorow!!!!!! Yea excited man..it's the time of the year again where all the youths move up to the next level..wee..! have some things to share...but kind of lazy now..later maybe...now going to cook myself dinner...I miss all my songs.!

I sometimes feel that the 'beautiful' people get all the attention while the reminder of us (myself included) are left with the buring quesion 'Am I hideous?'

Strangely...The link problem seems to have fixed itself automatically..Thank God!..Wow just got back from cell...Amazing man.! I just love the way that shaun preaches..It just seems to touch my heart everything and get me refreshed...But the best thing was after cell group when I talked to him about 'it' and then in a span of ten minutes..I had his godly council...Thank god for placing a leader like him in my life and over me..! I could not wish for anyone better man!...Though the last year believe that he has really been helping me through it all though we aint that gluely close but still...Think that's what makes him a great leader and great listener too..!

To the few readers of this blog..hahax...I'm so sorry but I Just wanted comments hahax...eh..Within the next 24 hours the url will be changed...Very sorry but I intend this to be a online solace to myself...Hope that you guys would be able to understand..I'm not acting cute btw...

Ra!!! I wonder why Im finding it so hard to forgive 'him' I always believed that I aint the bearing grudes sort..I wonder what is becoming of me...It's not an excuse to say he is always finding ways to push my buttons..! But some how he just does...! haiya...Why like that..! It's just simply infuriating lo..!

I just giving up la..! I Just cant get that stupid link out.!

I'm such a perfectionist..! I just cant stand that wrong link...that I just cant erase..Its just so infuriating...But at least a large majority of it is done..phew..!

Sorry for the copyright..I seek forgiveness...I really wonder how shallow my relationships with the people around me are...I rally wonder If indeed they are true...Who exactly can I trust..Well...Only a few come to mind...Some from school that's for sure inclueds Lea Yee and Daryl and Irenuaus lo..From church I can only dare say Annabel and Han Xian and Jia Wen...I guess these would be my closest friends...I seriously wonder..If I did not have the privilege of meeting Jesus...I wonder what my life would have been like...Probably I would have killed myself by now..Without his way of escape..I Seriously think that I would have committed suicide...Thank God for his love and grace..

Finally I'm done with the template...phew...was really a handful...i now am being to realise that I indeed am a perfectionist...is that good..? hmm..? I think that flash animation is super cute...and i intend to learn /master it..my pap went to the library to help me get resources on it...two books...hmm...

Finally after a long period of dormancy...The blog is alive again...Depressingly...Taking on the same look again..I just could not find anything good on blogskins...Kind of beginning to feel that all the good skins have disappeared...And its well...Simply depressing....Surprisingly..I'm following the herd if bind sheep this time And creating a blog..And what's more weird is the fact that I am actually taking the effort to writing in proper English without and internet lingo/shortforms...Surprisingly...I am even beginning to freak myself out...Maybe that what an 18/30 for English composition does to you...(*see what I mean...I even said compositions instead of compo...)...Worst of all..im typing speed is at snail's pace...Probably it because I am simple not used to typing properly...But I should not really care anyway...On account that this is my online solace where no-one else should know about and where I can finally express myself truly without having to bother about other nosey parkers prying and then trying to tell me to fit in again...How simply passe...Why is everyone trying to fit in..? Is it that big a wrong just to stick out..? I really do wonder...Who exactly defines social norms...The cool peeps..? Really..? So whoever deemed they cool..?I believe that it is simply the fact that these people are more desperate than anyone else to be accepted...And worse still..They are they most insecure and unwilling to open up to others...Guess it's just so queer social status/segregation thing that they have within them.hahax...
But thank god that at least here...We don't face any caste systems...Just that there are some outcast in our class...But other that that...Everyone seem sto fit into the jigsaw puzzle in their own unique way...Contributing in whatever special way...Thank god for Singaporean society and Asian values to have brought us up to treat each other equally (though we all know that by making such a statement...I would be stereotyping them...But...In a utopia...I believe that is how it would happen)...Maybe sfter the second coming of Jesus...When he has established his kingdom on earth...Perhaps....
Who knows what exactly the future holds...? It's all in the hands of god...He has a purpose and destiny for my life..Far greater than I could have imagined...And I intend to live it out..! I love you Jesus..Muackx..